just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
