You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
