i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
