i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
