Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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