I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
