i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
a search helicopter?!
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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