i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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