I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
