so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize