i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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