i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
It's rum buckets o'clock
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
