you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize