He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
