why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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