on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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