i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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