Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
