Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
being pregnant is like rehab
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
