oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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