Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I haven't been this sober since birth.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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