How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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