things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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