if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Where are you guys?
Drunk
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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