So drunk its hurt
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize