dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
So apparently I’m into choking now
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
