But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
