FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Panties = found
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize