doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
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