Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
