The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
