everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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