I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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