I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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