"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
