I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
