apparently the secret to your success is patron
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Randomize
