I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty