I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
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She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
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I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.