five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.