I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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