He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
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He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
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I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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