Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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