the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
We had to coat check the pizza.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
