I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize