yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
