I love black thongs
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
