so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize