Porn is love you can see.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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