Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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