Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Randomize
