the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
He has the fingertips of a God
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
