I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Hippo gnu deer
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
