i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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