omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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