ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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