don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
