Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
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I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
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Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
We're too hungover to prance.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
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