Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
