I must be too annoying 4 u.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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