whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
